I appreciate a classic love tale as much as anyone. The storyline of boy meets girl, wins her heart, and they live happily ever after is timeless and captivating. It’s hard not to be enchanted by it.
However, indulging excessively in romance films (and books, and TV shows, for that matter) can have detrimental effects on your marriage. The portrayal of idealized romantic scenarios in movies can create unrealistic expectations that may not align with reality.
On first impression, yes they do seem to be normal. The fact that you meet a guy, fall in a relationship, go through a struggle, get over it and then marry him is completely normal. Romantic movies often give us a romanticized or overly simplified version of the events, and our brains are not always aware.
The problems in romantic films are rarely very serious and never last for very long. They don’t fight to save their marriage, they just wait for a couple of days until everything is resolved. The couple doesn’t resolve real issues; instead, they win a small battle. In the end, everything works out.
Not only are the characters often unrealistic, but they also lack a sense of reality. They are both usually quite likable and without major flaws. After all, the couple is in love! It is always the same: The man will do his best to make her feel special. The differences between them are usually nothing more than minor quirks that the couple can laugh at later.
Real life isn’t like that.
Real life, however, is filled with real people and real problems. The fights are huge and the couple wonders how they’ll ever get through. It’s not always possible to grow older together. A glance at each other or a fond memory can’t fix everything.
We expect this to happen when we watch romance after romantic drama. Why shouldn’t love be enough for us? We should be able easily to solve all problems. Why shouldn’t we all be happy?
It can affect your mentality, whether you are aware of it or not. You may feel dissatisfied and disconnected when you discover that you and your marriage are not up to par.
Marriage isn’t always a happy thing. When we begin to think of the romantic movie plots as “normal”, our marriage suddenly doesn’t feel so normal. We feel that something’s wrong but don’t understand what. It’s not something we’ve seen done before. You can’t wait for a couple of days until everything is resolved?
This is a very simplistic view of the situation. Watching a couple of romantic movies is unlikely to destroy your marriage. However, it is important to enjoy the story that they tell.
It’s not going to be a romantic film. You can’t expect it, so don’t. There will be heartbreaks. There will be problems. It will be difficult. There are no easy solutions to real life problems.
It’s fine. The truth is that real life is more interesting than any fictional story, as long you accept it and learn to appreciate its quirks.