Most challenges in online dating can be addressed and improved upon. We can assist in refining your profile, enhancing your photos for better visibility, providing guidance on initiating conversations, and offering insights on whether meeting someone is worth pursuing. However, geographical limitations remain beyond our control.
Every week, I get five or more calls from singles who complain that their local area is not populated with enough people. Many singles don’t live in big cities like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago or Manhattan. This means they have a limited pool of potential matches. What’s your solution to a situation you cannot change?
It was difficult for me to deal with this situation. Idealistically, you shouldn’t look at dates that are more than two hours away. It is not only harder to develop a relationship if you go further away, but also more likely that romance scams will occur. Just because this is the ideal doesn’t make it the truth for the millions of people who are single in the US or around the globe. Here are 5 tips to help you be successful when online dating if there is no one to meet.
Move
It sounds oversimplified and doesn’t really fit the lives of most people. This is true. Many people would never even think about this, but thanks to the rise of remote work, and people working from home more often, you can make home wherever you want it.
How do you choose where to move if moving is an alternative? Research! Focus on what makes you happy and forget about dating for a minute. Which cities offer the kind of climate you’d like to have? What city has an arts or culture scene you find exciting? What are the best places to get food you will love?
You can narrow down your list to the top 10 things you are looking for in a new city. You can now bring the topic of dating into your conversation. Search for people in the cities you are interested in using a dating app such as ChristianMingle or Match. Find out what dating is like in those cities and whether they have people who match your criteria.
Make video part of your dating life
Most people can’t move, and yet there may not be many people to meet. It’s time to look a bit outside of your comfort zone. Just remember, I said outside your comfort zone, not outside your time zone.
You shouldn’t try to open the entire country at once if you need to consider long distance as a means to locate the person you are looking for. You should start as local as possible. Which is the largest city closest to you, and why? Which cities are close enough for a quick flight to not be expensive?
The big thing is to move the conversation from text to video as soon as possible. It is crucial that when you begin online dating, you do so in areas where you cannot easily get there by car. You should move your conversation as soon as you can to video. It doesn’t have to be video every time. It’s important to have something that is more authentic than just text and voice. It is important to verify that the pictures are correct (and to be able show that they are also accurate). You should also see how the person reacts physically when you talk to them. It will protect you against people who do not represent themselves honestly, and it will help you to build a relationship with them.
Define your dating goals
You will burn out if you use a local dating app. Your dating goals will need to become more specific the larger your pool of potential matches.
No, I don’t mean making a fantasy team wishlist. We’re not talking about what you can and cannot compromise on. What do you need to see in a person before you can consider them as a long-term relationship? If you’re going to take them seriously, what are some things that they cannot have? What is the end goal? What is your motivation? What kind of relationship do you hope to achieve?
The only policy that matters is honesty
Lies are the quickest way to turn a potential partner into someone that will never want to speak to you again. You will meet people you really like but they won’t date anyone too far from them. Let them go, and find someone who is. You should never lie to someone about your location in the hope that their connection is strong enough for them to understand.
All they can see in reality is the falsehood. They wonder what other lies you have told and will tell in the future. It doesn’t mean that someone is bad if they don’t want to date you due to where you live. This just means they are incompatible. Too many people have their hearts broken by being lied about things like this. Don’t be part of this problem. Not only will you lose the person you’re talking to but you could also be reported by the platform and get banned.
Beware Of Foreign Opportunities
It’s not a new idea to look for love overseas. Online dating makes it almost as simple to find a love partner near you as to look for one 5,000 miles from home. Don’t. That would be my advice. Every time I have seen someone meet someone abroad, there are 25 people who were either scammed or in relationships that focused more on what they can provide rather than their true self. The “Passport Bros” trend, whereby people temporarily move overseas in order to find love with the local population is a good example. Going overseas for love is not worth the risk, nor does it fix your fundamental issues that prevent you from having a relationship with someone domestically. Many people complain about men and women from the US. However, their concerns are more related to a lack in self-awareness or growth rather than the individuals they wish to date. This is a topic for another blog, but most people believe they cannot find someone decent in their own country. It usually has more to do with unrealistic expectations, or issues that prevent them from connecting.
Wrap Up
It can be frustrating to try and find love online, especially if you don’t live in a place with a lot of dating opportunities. It doesn’t necessarily mean that things are hopeless. You’ll just have to be a bit more creative when it comes to finding love.