It’s cold and flu season, Ya’ll. And it won’t be long before your man gets a nasty man-cold. Also called him-fluenza. Also called bro-chitis.
It’s going to be bad, no matter what you call it. There are nine ways to tell if he has a severe case of Dude’onic Plague.
What to do if your husband is suffering from a man cold
You’ve never had a sickness before. This is a new illness that no one else has experienced. This is a new one. This is the worst.
The patient is constantly asking for more medicine, even if they have just taken a Tylenol or Mucinex.
His own medicine will not be available to him. It is impossible for him to refill his water cup and dose his medication himself.
The child is asking for assistance with every task. His only ability to complete a task on his own, however, is the use of the toilet.
His spit out extra mucus in the most brutal way. He has to shout loudly so that the neighbors can hear him.
He is unable to read a thermometer. When asked repeatedly, “Will You Take My Temperature?” He will keep asking. He doesn’t know how to place it under his mouth and press the button.
For four days straight, he hasn’t moved from the couch.
This man needs to be hugged again.
For the next two years, he will tell the story of his illness every week.
This study shows that, according to science, women are better at handling colds than men. It’s just that we are tougher.