Preparing for Successful Conversations with Your Partner
You aim for your conversations with your partner to flow smoothly, allowing you to discuss important matters openly and comfortably.
In a previous post, I provided tips on what you should contemplate before speaking. Mental preparation enhances the safety and tranquility of your conversations.
This article will show you how to let your partner that you would like to speak together.
You’re basically going to talk about –
before you talk.
Remember those days? This conversation takes place before you even go to the restaurant. You talk together before going out so that you are both on the same page.
You’ll need to prepare for a healthy discussion by talking before you speak. This will ensure that you are both on the same wavelength. Both of you will know what to expect and you will both be prepared, so that you feel calm, safe, and in control.
1. Attract your partner’s interest
It’s simple but effective: Go to your partner’s room and take a look at him or her to see if you can talk to them. Come back later if they seem to be very busy.
If they answer, ask if you can speak to them. Ask them to return at a later time if they are busy.
If you are the one on the receiving side, smile and tell your partner that you would love to chat. Let them know when you can return.
2. Tell them what they do well.
In the previous post, I asked you to think of something that you admire about your partner and how it relates to the type of conversation you’d like to have. This is where you will share your appreciation with them.
Tell them about a good conversation you had that was similar to what you are trying to achieve now. Also, give some specifics of the things they did which you appreciated. Let them know how the conversation went well for you both and what they did that you really appreciated.
It is an excellent way to establish a connection and create a sense of calm and safety.
3. Briefly explain what the agenda is
Last week, you learned to choose just ONE topic and express your feelings about it.
Tell your partner about this topic and what you think – not in the context of the actual discussion, but as an point on the agenda.
The key point is that this is:
The set-up
Preparation
The Heads-Up
Not the complete conversation
4. Ask for a future conversation in a clear and concise manner
You don’t force a conversation upon your partner that they may not be prepared for. After you have told your partner what you are thinking, you will ask for a conversation when both of you are ready.
Discuss with your partner your conversation goals. (Review the previous post) Also, discuss when and where it might be best to have this conversation. You can suggest a place and time, then ask your partner what they think.
5. Schedule it
You’ll then make a meeting to talk about this. You can make an appointment in just five minutes if both of you are free. Or, it could be hours or even days away. It depends on the length of time you need and whether you are both in a good mood.
You should treat this appointment with the same commitment and respect that you would for any other professional appointment. Let your partner know if you’re unable to attend. Find a new time. Re-schedule the event.
Be calm and safe.
By preparing and establishing the conversation in advance, you can ensure that you and your partner have the most calm and safe conversation. You will not feel out of control or surprised.